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Tuesday, June 9, 2009 |

Sometimes there are those days when you feel happy for no reason….and there are those days when you feel sad for no reason….sadness is a feeling which everyone of us go through some point in our lives…You could be sad coz you lost a loved one…you could be sad coz you are sick…you could be sad coz someone got angry at you...you could be sad coz someone doesn’t reciprocate your feelings….you could be sad coz you are guilty of doing something which went against your conscience…or simply you could be sad just coz the weather was dull….Its amazing how easy it is to be sad…I have felt sad due to these reasons at several instances in my life….But how do we fight it…?

Sometimes the therapy to fight sadness is to accept the facts and cry out….sometimes it is better to forget the reason why ….sometimes it requires to forgive the person and move on….sometimes it is better to reflect on your actions and change….the cardinal rule is not to succumb in self-pity…I see many people who do it….There is nothing wrong in being sad coz that is another human emotion like happiness or anger or love….The bottom line is to accept it and move on….

Each one of us have our individual tailor made way to fight sadness…some don’t share it and cry alone in the bathroom while running the shower so that no one hears it…some need a shoulder to cry on…some just hold it for years and become happily numb….It depends on your personality how to deal with it…But for most of us the reason for sadness is something which we keep deep within ourselves…maybe I am generalizing but probably am espousing it based on personal experience…But each experience has taught me new lessons on how to fight it…

First you have accept that you are not the only person in the world who is sad and there are probably millions of other people who are sad due to more profound reasons….Secondly end of the day you have to move on…

Probably the most common reason for people to be sad is lost love…people tend to carry the baggage of hurt feelings for a long long time….and almost to the level that people actually are feeling comfortable sulking in that past…Believe me when I say falling in love again is possible…maybe you may not feel the immediate magical rush of feelings where everything around you was mere static objects while you strongly felt connected with the person…but it will be a slow pleasant ride of a new beginning where you would recreate the strange human emotion called love with the new person on a much stronger level and on a more mature level….There are enough people in the world around you who want to be loved!!

Sometimes the reason for sadness can be merely lost platonic love..between friends…A friend whom you might have considered dearly may not exactly have the same feelings for you…If you feel the feelings are not mutual don’t hate the person….Simply accept the fact that you cannot force any person to like you which would in turn become artificial…Do you want that? .There might be reasons for other person as well which explains any cold shoulder….respect it and move on and find new friends….Friendship is mutual and just like love, it ignites like a spark based on synergy….Stop cribbing “I don’t have any friends” coz there are plenty out there who need a friend as well….

I used to be very bad at fighting sadness….and I realised not to fight it and rather accept it…Treat sadness like a tooth ache….Don’t just take a aspirin and make yourself numb and rather do the root canal…Sadness can be fixed with happiness…Search for ways that can make you happy…Don’t put yourself into believing “He/she was the only person whom I thought………” or “I must be cursed and that’s why…..”..They are mere psychological games which our minds play…And as someone once said life is too short to fret over little sorrows….Breath again and start afresh...

Two weeks ago…I was sad for a wholly different reason...not coz I was hurt or sick…
A favourite nun whom I admire a lot was leaving the city forever….Her smile would bring happiness to every person at MoC during the regular Sunday meals…I was sad that I ll miss it from the next week….The kind of person whose sheer presence exuded joy! And when she told all of us that she was leaving for Rome , I could see the faces around me suddenly become glum ...the supposedly drunk, harsh and cold noisy street people who come there for the meal turned quiet…the kind of people whom we normally generalise to care about nothing....suddenly they seemed to have developed a lump in their throat…so was I when I saw it…Sister Vimala saw that her leaving the place was indeed a reason for all of us to be sad( although it just meant she was going to serve somewhere else)…But all of us were so used to seeing her….Sensing it, breaking the usual routine she lifted all our spirits into a much happier mood by breaking into a song…the way only she knows...


video

Sister Vimala is dimunitive sister coming last in the slide..She is Polish....Though the song maynot sound like professional..it was sung impromptu by the sister and the poor people who had come there for the free meal...recorded it on my mobile..and I must say it was amazing how the mood just changed after the song!!